Seeing

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to look at others and idealize their lives. Even when they have challenges and trials like anxiety and depression or the loss of a loved one. I see the image that they present to the world and how it seems like they have it all together, despite their challenge. 

And I want to be like that. (Pardon the incorrect sentence structure). 

I look at them and see the goals they are setting for themselves. I see the way they dress. I see the skills that they have. I think they're amazing.

The thing is, though, I only see the progress that they post about. I only see the image that they want everyone to see. I'm not there for the dark and lonely hours, I'm not there when it feels like everything is going wrong. They are amazing, but I'm not seeing the whole picture because I'm not them.

I only know what it's like to be me, what my thoughts are, what my true struggles and hardships are. I only know what I see of myself, and what I see is probably a lot different than what other people see. Maybe they see the same thing. 

I try to have it all together, I try to push through my trials. To a certain extent, I try to look like life's going great. 

Really though, I have bad hair days A LOT. I don't wake up when I want to in the morning, so I'm rushing around, throwing my hair into a ponytail and hoping I look good, shoving a lunch together because I know it will be a really long day if I don't have food. I don't get all of the studying and homework done that I want to when I want to. I can't buy all the clothes that I want, and more often than not I'm in a Sports Medicine T-shirt and tennis shoes. 

I'm me though. It's something that we all have to accept. There is no one else like me and there is no one else like you. My trials are unique to me, yours are unique to you. I have a different style, I think about the world differently, I see people differently, I interact with people differently. We're all different, and no one truly has it all together; we just want people to think that we do, or people even make that assumption all on their own. 

Here's to being unique, to having flaws, to making mistakes, to being imperfect. I often say that if I've learned anything, it's that God has a plan and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. That's true, but I've also learned without a shadow of a doubt that I am not perfect. So here's to imperfection and seeing imperfection and living and loving our imperfect lives. 

Also, since the weather has been nice today and I love flowers, here's some pictures of flowers. I can't wait until it's spring and there are real flowers outside and not just in the grocery store.